Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Are you sure you want to do this, you know it's a life long commitment right?

I have had a few people ask me if I was sure we wanted to do this so I thought I would address that question. I had been thinking about this for a while but never got around to posting it. I saw my friend Kristy's blog post a few days ago and it was along these same lines. Her and her husband are becoming foster to adopt parents and have really had a lot of opposition as they have moved forward. If you think about it could you please pray for their family. Here is the blog she posted answering the question "Why would you do that?"

So now to answer the question "are we sure we want to do this???" The easy answer to that question is yes with out a doubt we are sure we want to do this. Now for the long answer. When I was about 8 weeks pregnant with Melody and Madison before we even knew we were having twins and before we knew they were conjoined I had a feeling that something was wrong with my baby. I remember telling Jason I really think something is wrong with our baby I think our baby has Down Syndrome. Jason and I talked a little bit about it but we just prayed and trusted the Lord for His will not ours. During the next few weeks I started having a HUGE heart for special needs kids.

A few weeks before we found out that we were having conjoined twins we went to a discernment conference put on by Justin Peters. I was so blessed by his ministry. Justin Peters was born with Cerebral Palsy and he has such a neat testimony. Justin travels the world preaching the truth of God's word and exposing the Word of Faith Movement. If you have never heard of his ministry please check out his website. Justin has a hard time walking and is often in a wheel chair but his parents loved him enough to teach him the truth of God's word and he has never let his Cerebral Palsy slow him down. I remember praying after the conference and I prayed something like this "Lord if you ever choose to give us a child with special needs I pray that we will teach our child the hard truths of God's word and I pray that you would use our child for your glory." It was just a few weeks later that we found out that we were having twins and that they were conjoined.

I found out that our twins were conjoined with I was 19 weeks pregnant and I delivered them at 32 weeks. We spent those 13 weeks going to the doctor all the time and learning as much as we could about them and things we could do to help them. Our girls had a zero chance of survival but we knew that God was the one forming them (Psalm 139) and He would decide when they were born and when they would die. We trusted God with our babies lives. We did everything in our power to help our daughters. I went into labor at 32 weeks and our daughters were born ALIVE! They lived for about an hour and we were so blessed to spend time after they were born.

I was saying all that so that you all would know I really feel like God has been preparing us to care for a child with special medical needs for over two years now.

When I read about the baby we want to adopt his medical condition didn't scare me at all. I had been following blogs of families whose children had EB on and off since I was pregnant with the twins. As soon as I found out about him I started doing everything I could to learn about EB and figure out how to care for him.

I know that caring for this baby is a life long commitment and Jason and I are more than willing to commit to caring for him for the rest of our lives. I don't feel any differently about him than I would if I was pregnant with him. If I was pregnant with him and I found out something was wrong with him abortion would not be and option I would do exactly what I did with the twins. I would go to doctors, talk to other families whose children had the same thing, I would contact insurance and make sure everything our child needed was covered and I would cover that sweet baby in prayer. Those are all the things I did for Melody and Madison and those are all the things I am doing for the baby we are wanting to adopt. This is not option for us we want to move forward as fast as we can to bring this sweet boy home.

The next big thing for us is the home study. I talked to our social worker today and I just love her! Our home study will be longer than normal because our social worker wants to extra time to document everything we are doing to prepare to care for Baby A. She said it would only take a week to finish and write the report which is AMAZING! Lord willing we will know by the end of this month if we passed the home study. I can not wait for the day we are able to "officially" commit to him! We of course are already committed in our hearts but if we are able to commit on paper that would be amazing! It is still early in the process and someone could get him before us but we are praying if it the Lord's will that He will allow us to keep moving forward.

Our big prayer right now is we will pass our home study and be able to officially commit to him. We will see what the Lord has in store for us.

Thanks for keeping up with us!


  1. Vanessa, I loved this post. I even have people questioning ME about do you really know what you're getting yourself into. I confidently say, "This is for real. They're not turning back." I think more and more lately about what God promises and does not promise. I think, in American culture especially, we have this (never admitted) idea that God promises good things. Well, He does. But not like what we think. To us, good things means comfort, good circumstances, health etc. If we just pray to Him everything will work out right (like we want it to). The truth is, God doesn't promise us that everything's going to be comfortable and our purpose here on Earth is not to live easily and comfortably. I will tell you right now, an EB child brings with him/her a lot of financial issues, health issues, physical exhaustion issues, emotional anguish... but... BUT it is the most rewarding thing on this Earth to care for my Jonah. To know I'm protecting him as best I can and giving him the best I have and teaching him to love God and Jesus... despite his EB. You will never regret this choice. It may not always be full of happiness and comfort. But it will always be full of joy and ultimately hope. I love your and Jason's hearts, and I can't wait to see how God continues writing your story. To Him who is able to do more than we can ask or imagine...


  2. You have no idea who I am...lol...I am so happy, though, that you are wanting to adopt this sweet boy! I have been praying for him ever since Patrice posted stuff about him on her blog. I am praying for you guys now as well! Very exciting things in store for you guys! Be blessed!

    PS- you mentioned the baby's name in this post, and I can't remember if you said you weren't allowed to during this process. I don't want you to get into trouble!

  3. Patrice I totally agree with you!

    Abby Thank you for the support and thanks for letting me know I used his name I fixed it. :)


  4. We are behind you one million percent, and we are praying that you are chosen to be his parents! We know that you will do an outstanding job. It's amazing how far in advance God prepares us for certain situations. When I was in college I worked at a camp for people with physical disabilities (especially spinal cord injuries). I learned almost everything I needed to know about caring for someone with an SCI. I look back and marvel at His grace for providing me with the knowledge and skills that I now need with Erin. God prepared your heart and hopefully He is presenting you with the perfect child for your family. If not Baby A, then He will reveal that child to you soon. Let us know if there is anything we can do to help you.

    Sending our love!

  5. Hi Vanessa,
    You are in my heart and prayers often.

  6. U guys ROCK. You are such an inspiration to me. Thank you for following your hearts and trusting in God. My faith is increased just witnessing yours. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU.